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Appreciation Isn't Earned

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I spent most of my career searching for appreciation and it wasn't easily found. It seemed that nothing I did was ever enough - a client always wanted to see another option or to make some "tweaks", a contractor wanted more information. Before even making it to the client presentation, there were rigorous rounds of revisions, and someone on the team always wanted something more, something better. Most of the time, I felt unappreciated. I thought if I worked harder, if I learned more and produced faster and the quality of my work was better that this would change. I thought there was a benchmark somewhere for "enough" and that when I hit that benchmark I would finally be appreciated.  Not just my work, but me. It led me to believe that I had to be perfect. That everything I did had to be right the first time. I didn't allow myself to make mistakes, and when I made mistakes I was incredibly hard on myself. Every time someone asked for more or for something dif...
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Frequently Asked Questions

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For some reason, part of me was nervous to tell people that I was leaving architecture. And when I started working at a garden center, it was weird to see former colleagues and AEC professionals and tell them what I was doing. But the majority of the response has been incredibly positive, coated in support and sometimes a hint of envy. Over the last 18 months I've fielded the same few questions more times than I can count, so I'm sharing those here today. Q: Why did I leave architecture? A: The funny thing about this question is that it's usually people unrelated to the industry who ask. Any time I talk to architects, interior designers, engineers, contractors, etc.they just seem to get it. The long, detailed answer to this question is complicated and will likely unfold itself over time in my writings. The short answer - I was chronically stressed and frustrated and the practice of architecture often made me very unhappy. I didn't like the lifestyle of being an architec...
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New Beginnings, New Beliefs

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I have always been unapologeticaly uniquely me (Exhibit A: my choice of outfit and props for my high school senior pic), and if people don't like me, well ... I am truthfully deeply troubled inside, but I still don't change myself to gain their approval. This is why it's been so hard for me to admit to myself that how I have judged my own worth for all these years has been severely misguided. It hit me earlier this year when I heard these lyrics in the song "Careful" by SYML: Take pride in who you are not what you do. When I heard those words it was like a grand aura took over my mind and body, with a clarifying message. THIS IS IT. This is everything you've been unknowingly working on. This is the meaning of it all. ⚘ ⚘ ⚘  Somehow through all of my life experiences, I had gotten this mixed up. I had put so much emphasis on  what I did and how well I did it that it became my only gauge of whether or not  I was good. I was constantly focusing on all of the th...
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Introducing : Lessons from the Greenhouse

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Before we dive in, let me give you some personal history that will help provide some context to the lessons to come. I grew up dreaming of becoming an architect. I built card houses, sketched house designs, and took over the kitchen table with a Lego village of my creation. In high school I started making decisions that revolved around achieving the dream. I elected every possible CAD related class in school and I attended an architecture summer program at UW-Milwaukee. I went to college, majored in architecture, got my first job in architecture, went back for my masters and then landed my dream job at a small firm. I logged my hours at work, studied for and passed 7 exams, and I did it ... I finally became an architect. Intentionally or otherwise, I surrounded myself by the profession - most of my friends (including my husband) were connected to the field. I participated in a 7 month leadership program specifically for architects. I joined the leadership for my local section of AIA (A...
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